A 60-year-old man does not fantasize about a 60-year-old woman. I went onto with a clear knowledge that relationships are not the answer to lifelong problems. But I have come to learn that this means they think of themselves as friendly.They are “glass half-full kind of people.” That’s very nice.They like to think that they are “closest to Buddhism,” and “open to the magic that is all around us.” They are “people-people.” They are “open-minded and welcome all viewpoints.” They are rarely seeking religious nuts like myself — rather, they are seeking open, non-judgmental women.
The prophet tells us, “Your old will have visions; your young will dream dreams.” Elderly women in a retirement community in Mill Valley protested the war in Iraq on a busy thoroughfare with placards every Friday for years. But one dream coming true doesn’t mean you give up on other lifelong dreams.
A man I know of 22, halfway to a medical degree, is pursuing ballet dreams in New York City. You’re not dream-greedy to want, say, a cool career and a mate.
Some people my age — extreme middle-age — train for marathons, or paddle down the Amazon, skydive, or adopt. And having realized this one long-shot dream with my grown child gave me the confidence to try something even harder: to date.
The thing was, I had just done something brave, which was to write a memoir with my son, tour the East Coast together, and appear on stages before hundreds of people at a time.
I recoil even from the word “date,” let alone the concept of possibly beginning a romantic relationship. I have an almost perfect life, even though I’ve been single since my last long-term boyfriend and I broke up four years ago.